I woke up this morning with a sickening attitude that I have never experienced since my first encounter with the concept of “women’s rights, gender and empowerment”. I remember my intercourse with these terms made my blood race and my body shiver with determination to make a difference in all the areas of my influence and all the possible opportunities I grasped.
At college not so many years ago, a gender studies center was established and I was on the lineup of presenters on the day of its launch. I give myself credit for establishing a young women’s empowerment club at University after attending a young women’s empowerment and leadership training offered by one Women’s organization. I remember that day, admiring the presenters on how articulate they would talk about my entitlements, not only as a woman but a young woman too. The excitement I felt spending time from morning till the next morning in a young women only environment talking about OUR issues, all the nice and naughty stuff, especially coming from different institutions and new to each other, but still comfortable with each other. It was a rainbow and I did what I am best known for throughout …smiling and enjoying. It was so different.
My determination grew deeper with more understanding of women’s rights and gender. This determination became my daily aspiration for the journey I was to take until today. I joined a women’s organization for my work related learning. I did my 1st dissertation focusing on women’s rights (though I can attest to the fact that my supervisor- male- was not amused). I graduated and joined a women’s organization in the first steps of my career, my first Job. I worked there for the next five years until I got to the helm and more exposure to women’s issues-no not issues- but concerns on their entitlements; their rights. I was so passionate about such and I would find myself unconsciously celebrating an individual woman success in all spheres and all levels. I wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity to participate, organize and facilitate activities during the International Women’s Day, International Rural Women’s Day, the 16-365 days of activism against gender based violence and Mother’s Day too (which gave me the opportunity to make my father jealous for not being a woman -J).
Wow, life was fun! I organized and participated in events such as Marches, discussions, debates and dialogues during these events. I vividly remember one such commemoration that I organized in Gutu, which left the community women all in blue (advocacy t-shirts) and my name being the talk of town until today. Women burst into song, dance and ululation as we all Marched at Bhasera growth point in commemorating the 8th of March being the International Women’s day. Business stood still for the 20minutes we sang, danced and Marched- as women- on the day. What made it so refreshing was the unity and celebratory spirit among the women beyond party lines and generational differences – the diversity-what brought satisfaction to my heart, and brought a few tears of joy to my tiny eyes was the fact that – at least they were not doing it to glorify and campaign for male candidates at a political rally.
After all this, I find myself with a sick and selfish attitude today, a day before one of the days I would eagerly wait for each and every year. I am asking myself, I have done all that in celebrating women’s day but I also feel I have been doing it for others, especially the community women. I realize in most of these celebrations, women like myself are forgotten in the process. We are swallowed in the process of organizing and coordinating and we forget to connect all this to ourselves. I am a young professional woman in the development sector, a mother of twins and a student furthering her studies. I am also a daughter, an aunt and a daughter-in-law.
I will not mention the fact that I do not have a house-help and that every morning I have to see it that my twin boys need to be prepared for and taken to school. I will not mention that after work I need to get home and prepare supper and that before I sleep, I need to make sure that all is ready for the next morning, including the fact that the house and dishes are clean before I sleep. I will also not mention the fact that electricity in rarely there and that water has to be fetched at a nearby source as Council water has been none existent in my area for the past three years. I will not tell you that even though I have a part-time help on weekends – I spend the whole day doing house chores that I would not have time to execute during the week. My Sunday is wholly committed to praising and worshiping my God by going to church and immediately after arriving back home, prepare lunch, supper, clean dishes and prepare for the beginning of the next day.
Socially I will also not tell you that I am termed “unreachable” by friends and in-laws, including other siblings resident in other areas. I do not go sporting, watching movies (which I love a lot), reading or even taking a walk. I am now “labeled” in my relative’s circles for being “reachable” whenever I stretch my hand for help, and I have ceased to ask for it – anyway! Now that I am currently not personally “mobile” my shopping escapades are rushed as I cannot take the twins with me. I will not tell you that I sleep at midnight and wake-up at 4:30am if I am to catch up with time to prepare for my children to go to school and only for me to get to work 8:30am, thirty minutes after the actual starting time – only to give an apology to my supervisor for being late.
Do not misinterpret my life. I do have an extremely supportive, humble and loving husband, who stands for me at all times. He does not know the difference between “women’s roles” and “men’s roles” hence he does everything, with neighbors tongue lashing at him for embarrassing the male community- and he wouldn’t care. But he is rarely at home as he is demanded to be out of town especially during the farming season.
NOW, tell me why this year-2014- if I am wrong in ignoring everything that is happening around me this year, and focus on ME and ME alone. For the first time, this new organization that I have joined has decided to do something different, that specifically focuses on ME in the workplace and seating together as women at the organization to celebrate ourselves…but…now our male colleagues want to join. Not sure how I feel about it but to some extent it shows solidarity with our concerns as women…way to go ActionAid Zimbabwe! I feel personally being celebrated for the first time.
This however does not stop me from personally celebrating myself this year- I will buy myself a pair of shoes (oh, I love shoes), get my hair and nails done, ease pressure on myself. Temporarily disown my children over the weekend (since the 8th is on Saturday), not do any house chores (even if the house is to be filthy) unless if I get a male volunteer to do so. Is will buy myself a huge chocolate, visit a longtime female friend and catch up and am tempted to extend it further to Monday and arrive at work late, as I will wake up at 6:00am instead of 4:30am on a working day, just to “top the icing on my cake.”
NB* Boss, if you so happen to read this blog before Monday…I am sorry for being late, but I have a case to fulfill. Happy International Women’s day - 2014
